When Strengths Get Too Loud
A while back, I was facilitating a series of workshops that encouraged participants to reflect on moments when their strengths suddenly felt more like weaknesses. It’s a familiar scenario for all of us. When faced with discomfort or stress, our default response is often to over rely on the behaviors that feel most natural. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, and it may even feel like the best strategy for getting through something difficult. That said, are there strategies we can use to raise awareness of how our behaviors are perceived by others? What if we thought of natural talents like a volume dial we could turn up or down depending on the context?
To give voice to our natural talents, it’s helpful to understand the psychological concept of typology. In short, the idea is based on categorizing people based on personality traits and naming certain types. You’re likely familiar with some of this language. Type A / Type B. Extrovert / Introvert. The list goes on and on. You’ve likely taken a personality test at some point as well, like the CliftonStrengths assessment, the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, the DISC, or 16 Personalities (and that’s just to name a few). These tests are all rooted in Carl Jung’s research on personality in the 1920’s, which would lead to the concept of typology transitioning into the mainstream. Today, personality testing is used for all sorts of purposes including predictive hiring, professional development, career advising, and coaching.
Personality tests are designed to spotlight natural talents that help us stand out. Others attempt to shed light on areas of weakness that may require more energy and focus for us to deploy. Our strengths can help us stand out in social settings and excel at certain tasks. What does it look though when our greatest strength are overutilized?
The story of P.T. Barnum in The Greatest Showman provides an excellent example of how talents can backfire when over leveraged. The film tells the story of Barnum’s drive to create the greatest show on earth and in turn help his family climb the social and financial ladder. He is portrayed as an ambitious, charismatic and driven entrepreneur who will stop at nothing to excel in his business pursuits. At first these traits assist him in recruiting talent and launching a circus that quickly becomes the talk of the town (for better or for worse) The story also demonstrates the costs of unchecked ambition as it portrays marital stress from excessive work and travel, frustration from members of his team as they begin to feel disregarded, and unintended social gaffes by Barnum as he aggressively pursues goals to advance his social and financial status.
I’ll shift to a personal example to demonstrate this idea further. When I think of the things that help me excel at work and in social settings, communication always comes to mind. I’m rarely at a loss for words and often find myself instinctually telling descriptive stories. Public speaking has never felt intimidating, in fact it tends to invigorate me. One of the things I’ve become aware of over time, however, is that this gift of verbal and written communication is best leveraged when I find opportunities to ask intentional questions and challenge myself to be comfortable with silence. I’m always ready to give voice to my thoughts, but my communication skills shine brightest when I strive to ask questions and intently listen to the stories of others.
Gallup frames this contrast as the help and hinder forms of strengths, emphasizing that it’s important to recognize when to lean in and lean out of our pre-programmed behavioral inclinations. I’ve started to think of this concept metaphorically as the volume of a given personality trait at any given time. When we are able to recognize behavioral tendencies (like an inclination to embrace conflict, create intricate organizational systems, or easily network with strangers) we can be more aware of when to strategically turn these “volume levels” up and down.
Let’s use another metaphor to explore the concept of maintaining the right volume. Imagine you are planning to host a house party, but your home happens to be in a densely populated neighborhood. You want the party to be perfect and music becomes a key component of your event. You work hard to select the perfect playlist and hope music helps set it off. That said, your neighbors are sensitive to noise and you don’t want to go overboard. If the party really takes off and you let the music get too loud, you might end up with a police officer knocking on your door citing a noise complaint in the area. On the flip side, perhaps you’re so concerned about noise that you make the music almost inaudible. The party lacks energy and guests start to trickle out much earlier than anticipated. So much for that perfect playlist. When volume goes to extremes, there is the potential for negative outcomes. The key point of the story is that if you’re aware of the situation, you can always adjust the volume to an appropriate level based on the circumstances around you.
When you apply this concept to your natural talents you can proactively increase or decrease the volume of a given trait in any situation. Here’s another personal example to demonstrate the concept. I have a tendency toward positive thinking. It’s easy for me to see the silver lining in most situations and I’m often looking for things to celebrate. That trait is powerful for sharing contagious energy with others and keeping things lighthearted, but I have to be mindful of dialing that strength down in emotionally heavy situations. Rush to the positive and I can appear insensitive, emotionally unaware, or naive. It’s times like these where I try to be hyper aware of the potential influence of positivity and level it down as appropriate.
Take a minute to reflect on times your own strengths may have gotten in the way. How might the concept of leveling down the volume of a given personality trait when appropriate be helpful? Here are a few steps to consider for raising your own awareness of how your natural talents might impact those around you and strategies for finding the perfect volume in any situation:
Complete a personality assessment or review a previous report: My preference here is the CliftonStrengths assessment. There’s a small cost for this one, but the amount of tools and learning resources Gallup provides to further your learning is constant. That said, if you’re looking for something at no initial cost, consider the VIA Survey or 16 Personalities. There’s a lot of options out there, just make sure to do a bit of due diligence to ensure you’re taking a reputable and accurate test.
Reflect on past experiences when a strength felt more like a weakness: Try this, think about a time where you did something awkward or taboo as you overutilized a strength. This was likely an opportunity where you could have chosen to turn your talent volume down. Use this reflection to consider ways that you might change your approach down the road when a similar situation presents itself.
Map out individualized strategies for managing your talent volume in the future: You can’t change the past, but you can utilize lessons learned to better prepare for situations like these in the future. Stress can often serve as a trigger for overrelying on a given strength. A type of autopilot tends to kick in as we overutilize responses that are most natural to us. When we heighten our awareness of how our strengths are manisfesting at any given time, we can be more mindful of adjusting how we utilize them.
Self-awareness is key for maximizing self-management and social awareness. As you gain awareness of the behavioral tendencies that come most naturally to you, keep this concept top of mind. You almost always have a choice to take stock of a situation and mindfully choose how to respond. You just have to be willing to take control and find the right volume for the best approach.
