The Fallacy of the Well Rounded Leader

Have you ever worried if you were enough as a leader? Particularly as you were taking on a new role? If so, here’s a little secret. The vast majority of new leaders have likely felt that way as well. I spend a lot of time coaching and supporting people in managerial roles ranging from those who are brand new to their position, to those who have years of tenure. For people who are green to leading teams, a common concern often comes up, “How will I ever develop all of the skills necessary to be good at everything I’m supposed to oversee?” That question isn’t limited to rookies either. Even the most tenured leaders tend to struggle at times with second-guessing themselves. It’s also not uncommon for leaders to fixate on improving their weaknesses, even if this is focused on tasks that make them uncomfortable or that drain their energy. Is it realistic though to believe that we can become everything to everyone? 

We all have natural skills and abilities that help us shine and stand out. These strengths are the characteristics that, when properly honed, become key attributes associated with our professional brand and reputation. While we all have natural abilities that seem effortless, we also have gaps that we need to be mindful of. These areas in which we struggle are unique to each of us. New leaders often succumb to the temptation of obsessing over these weaknesses and how to improve them, sensing that this is their best opportunity to be perceived as well-rounded and polished. Ironically, this approach may slow our growth as we spend more time trying to sharpen areas of low talent rather than leaning into and developing our natural abilities.

Let’s explore what it looks like to obsess over developing excellence in an area of weakness. I’ll start with a basic skill-based example outside of the realm of leadership to demonstrate the importance of natural talent. When I was in high school and college, I used to perform a lot as a vocalist. I remember from a young age simply listening to something and being able to mimic the pitch, tone, and even the accent of another performer with what felt like relative ease. It just sort of happened. The more I sang and tried out for different groups, the easier it became to manipulate my voice however I wanted (within a given range of course).

Given that this was an area of natural skill, it was hard for me to comprehend why some people around me struggled with vocal performance. I recall talking with a younger student in a choir who was struggling with singing off-key. He would regularly ask for advice, and I kept trying to tell him to just listen and match the sound of those around him. The more I did that however, I started to realize it was like trying to tell an extremely introverted person that they should just work on being a better extrovert. Take a second to reflect on your own high school or collegiate experience. When you think about it, some subjects and/or activities likely seemed to click, while others took a lot more effort to develop. The disciplines that came with ease tend to hint at your innate skills and abilities.

Let’s shift back to the lens of leadership. Great leaders eventually embrace the fact that it’s impossible to be everything to everyone. They recognize areas they’re gifted in and focus on mastering these skills. With that in mind, let’s imagine how this concept might relate to someone who has just pivoted into a new management role.

I’ll use another personal example here. Early in my career, I took on a position at a large public university where my job was to coordinate with more than fifty key department heads on programs for new students. If that sounds like jargon, think of it this way, I had to find a way to appease a lot of influential leaders who wanted access to students at a finite number of events with a limited window of time. As I took point coordinating arrangements with campus leaders, the advice I received from a mentor in the department was to be stern and clear about what we would and would not do. That, this person suggested, would provide clarity on what each stakeholder could realistically expect. 

One of my colleagues at the time had a distinctive ability to draw lines in the sand. They knew how to say no and to make it clear that some demands could not and would not be met. I attempted to mirror this approach by being stern and direct for a few months, approaching every meeting with this mindset. I quickly found that just thinking about walking into a room feeling like I would have to enforce something felt draining to me. Could I develop the ability to command a conversation and make clear to people what was going to happen? Maybe. But I was going to be miserable if I tried to consistently lead in a way that felt inauthentic.

Then something clicked. What if I took a different angle to achieve the same outcome? Charisma has always felt natural to me. I often thought it sounded odd when people would talk about concepts like charm. To me, it didn’t seem like you had to convince people to do things. Didn’t that just tend to happen if you approached a conversation with a warm and cordial mindset? Upon further reflection, I realized charm and charisma in social situations felt effortless for me, whereas for others, they may seem more difficult. 

I started to approach collaborative conversations with the intent of building connections and trust. When I couldn’t appease a request, I was intentional about taking time to explain the why and offering alternate solutions. Things started to feel more natural, I was so much happier in my role, and I realized how to lead with my natural abilities rather than trying to fit into a leadership style that didn’t work.

That said, I also could tell fairly quickly when I was in a conversation that was starting to feel manipulative or political. It’s not hard for me to read when someone is attempting to leverage power, position, or intimidation to get something they want or believe they need, but those are the conversations where I know I need to be mindful of my approach. If I can’t sway the conversation in another direction, that’s when I seek support. I had a colleague who thrived when these situations arose, and I knew I could call on them to assist me on the rare occasion it didn’t feel like I was gaining traction. The key takeaway here is that you need to be honest with yourself about where your gaps are, so you can partner with the right people to help you navigate situations that tend to be difficult.

The best leaders recognize that they can’t do it all. To navigate weaknesses, they tend to leverage resources around them and intentionally build teams and partnerships to complement areas of struggle. Keep in mind though that developing your strongest attributes doesn’t mean you just get to ignore weaknesses altogether. Imagine a leader telling their team, “Well, I’m just not good at having conversations with people so if you need any support or guidance, talk amongst yourselves.” That person probably won’t be a manager for long, as they’re very clearly indicating they have no desire to support direct reports. We all have aspects of our jobs that are difficult, frustrating, etc. When these tasks need to get done, we can’t ignore them just because they’re difficult or not something we enjoy doing. That’s when it’s essential to consider tools to help you navigate weaknesses and who the key partners are to help you navigate blindspots.

For example, if you’re someone who struggles with details and deadlines, consider looking at software to help you better manage your time…or seek opportunities to partner with people who thrive in these areas and will embrace opportunities to help keep you and your team focused on top priorities. Do you prefer facts and details over framing something in an accessible and palatable way for clients? Seek opportunities to partner with an effective presenter who excels at reframing data into moving stories that resonate with audiences. In addition to easing some of the stress of navigating difficult situations on your own, you’ll have more peace of mind and more time to focus on the aspects of your work that you’re truly passionate about.

In sum, the key takeaway is that no leader is perfect, and you won’t be either. There will always be something to trip you up. You can improve on weaknesses to the point that they don’t lead to you dropping the ball in your role, but you also don’t have to fixate on trying to develop those aspects of your work into hallmarks of your leadership style. You’ll be more likely to thrive when you recognize that no leader is infallible, that it’s okay to be vulnerable, and that it’s essential to hire team members with significantly contrasting approaches to work. Those are likely the very folks who will help compliment your blindspots, and who will be more than happy to take on the work, projects, and responsibilities that tend to keep you up at night.